Survival tip: Beating the competition

Look at him now with his new blond look (SOURCE:http://madamenoire.com)
Look at him now with his new blond look (SOURCE:http://madamenoire.com)

Mr. Wall to Wall Chris Brown is BACK.

He is all over the charts, has a new image (blond and bold), and is telling people to “look at [him] now”.

He’s been showing up in videos (Cat Daddy), having Dougie battles for no apparent reason, and making songs that cause teenage pregnancy.

My only problem is that we, as a nation, have forgotten one important thing: RIHANNA’S FACE.

I know that we are supposed to forgive and forget, but the image of her face black and blue has been pulverized into my brain.

After the infamous domestic dispute, Chris Brown was dropped from advertisers. He definitely put a bad taste in both America’s and Doublemint Gum’s mouth.

Brown’s career needed an S.O.S while spiraling down pop culture’s toilet. Yet, Rihanna’s career took him down.

She was all over the press.

Everyone felt bad for her, and wanted to support her.

She became unforgettable, especially since she kept asking what her name is.

Then something very odd happened. Something that can be described as undergoing a “Black Swan” transformation.

The hair went from black as night to red as if she was inflamed. Her good girl image turned bad very FAST.

Her lyrics became more provocative, her style became more risque.

Meanwhile, Mr. Brown was picking up garbage and his career at the same time hoping that his career would one day reach the same heights as before.

I guess he was right.

His comeback was literally an “IN YO FACE” Rihanna. I guess her umbrella wasn’t able to save her from what he had in store for her.

It all started with one word.

DEUCES.

I was only puzzled about a couple of things regarding the  song:

1. What is he throwing up deuces at when he is known for beating girls down? If this song is an ode to Rihanna it was poorly done.

2. It’s BUZZ. Everyone and their grandma was singing this song. It literally became the break-up/ on to the next one theme song. It had a catchy beat, is perfect for estranged lovers, and an easy to remember chorus.

Yet, I still can’t understand how it made it’s way to the “Top 10” on almost every radio station.

Now he is all over the Billboard Top 100.

This new album has really unleashed a new side of him.

1. He’s rapping now. The first time I heard “Look at me now” I swore that it was the New Boys attempting to be gangsta.

2. Will the real SLIM SHADY please speak up!!! Chris’s bleached blonde locks are not cute. When your hair can’t be differentiated from your face:

YOU HAVE A PROBLEM.

I shall leave you with this Jibbers:

You can appreciate an artist’s music without liking their actions, but C’MON.

I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER CHRIS AS A WIFEY BEATER.