New Mascot to replace retiring pup

This quarter, expect some jocked-up new changes around the BCC campus.

School officials have decided that due to a dire and imminent need to revive sports team moral on campus, money will be allocated to create the
Administration of Athlete Appreciation.

Jackie Rawlings, who is to be head of the AAA, is more than eager to talk about plans to liven up the athletic culture at the college. Rawling’s first action will be to create what she calls “Athlete Appreciation Week.” The weeklong event, which starts Monday, April 6, will encourage students to show support for the school’s athletes.

“Be sure to give a high-five and a hug to any BCC athletes that you see around campus this week,” she said.

Athletes will be wearing BCC sweatshirts all week, so Rawlings said to be sure that if sweatshirt-wearers are spotted, they not be let away without being given some display of public affection.

The school will also be changing its mascot under recommendation by Rawlings and the AAA.

The BCC Bulldog, the school’s mascot since 1984, will be replaced this quarter by a bipedal version of the classic “Piranha Plant” creature from the 1985 video game Super Mario Bros, which we will be calling “Chompers.” The AAA predicts that the new mascot will brighten up sports games.

“Ashton Hoffman, who is the creative director for the AAA, was instrumental in promoting the new mascot.

“[The Piranha Plant] is such an iconic figure, its symbolism is timeless and it represents so many values and characteristics that athletes can relate to,” he said.

Three costumes were custom tailored for the school and three different BCC students will suit up so that every sporting event will be attended by the new mascot.

The plant represents trouble from down under and it’s going to scare the [expletive] out of the other team,” says Hoffman.

The school’s official colors will be changed to accompany the new mascot. The college’s Design Review Committee decided during the spring break to replace the previous school colors with red and green. The AAA says that the new colors will make the campus a more exciting place, although some critics have complained that the new color scheme will be reminiscent of a poorly wrapped Christmas present.

Although the AAA has high hopes for the changes, it doesn’t intend to stop improving the campus anytime soon. Rawlings said the AAA has plans to invite professional sportscasters to attend BCC games. Additional AAA plans will be submitted later on in the quarter.

“Our athletes need encouragement and a fostering environment, we need to get them playing like they were back in the 1980’s” she said.

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