Labors of love

 

Going into college you generally have a pretty good assumption about the challenges that you have ahead.

An example of this would be  mountains upon mountains  of homework, studying, tests and quizzes, as well as just simply trying to work part-time to pay for bills, food and other miscellaneous things. But  where does applying for college and   attempting to eventually move on from Bellevue College while having a very small morsel of a  social life come into play?

There is so much expected of students these days and sometimes the heavy load can be so overwhelming you can’t figure out how to prioritize and know what is more important to focus on the now (e.g., all your homework so you do not fail your class) or focus on the distant future (e.g. ,applying to colleges almost a year in advance, accepting new job opportunities, etc.)

Obviously, you would want to focus on the now because it does  affect your future, but where does the line draw on balancing what is most important? That is the ongoing challenge that I’m sure most if  not all of college students face.

If college was a piece of cake, then everyone would go and actually making it through and getting your degree would not be as much of an accomplishment. Lately I have just been having trouble trying to keep my head above water before I drown.

I know what I need to do: do my homework, study, go to class and not be late, work enough to pay for my bills, eat right, exercise, pass my tests and apply to college for the following school year to continue the long and with-drawn journey to journalism. I do about half of those things.

While all of that sounds lovely, it really is just not that simple. And on top of all of that,there is no time for any sort of social life. I don’t even have time for myself.

And because I have no time for anything or anyone (not even myself) how can I possibly nurture a relationship with anyone to soothe the sting of loneliness?

The more I keep thinking I need to focus, stay afloat and reach the shore next fall to keep my ambitions of my future going, I slowly begin to sink and panic and then the procrastination factor sets in. I’m not saying I am giving up, but I get overwhelmed and throw in the towel and everything is a domino effect. My domino effect begins like this: First, I stay up too late to finish my endless mountain of homework and take an online quiz.

Then I’m late to class because I overdosed on Nyquil  the night before because I couldn’t breathe while trying to sleep because I’m sick from not eating well and lack of sleep! Then because I overslept, I miss a quiz.I then  miss 10 points. My grade drops, which, if it keeps dropping ,by the time I get around to applying to schools next quarter, my GPA will be already blown to hell because of my epic failure months in the past. All for the inital purpose of my distant future. This ungodly cycle just continues and it is like  a never-ending ride at the fair where you can’t get off and feel like you’re  going to puke.

When does the madness end?

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