High schoolers can work and study too

I find it absolutely ridiculous and frankly rather insulting that some public high schools forbid their students to hold jobs during the week.

Just because some students do not need to work because their parents can support them does not mean their poorer counter parts should be penalized. Most students are capable of working a few hours on weeknights and still doing their homework. Even if they are not, the decision should be up to them and their parents to decide.

Think about out weekends. It is a proven fact that every sing high school student in the world goes to school just so they can say “man I can’t wait for the weekend!”

The weekend is high school student’s time to unwind, catch up on sleep, watch all the shows they were forced to TiVo over the week, and most importantly buy all the alcohol need to get belligerently drink while their parents go to the vacation house in the Hamptons for the weekend.

Now I know exactly what you are thinking! “Why would we want our youth getting exposed to alcohol at a young age?”

Well the answer to that is simple. Any intelligent human being knows that everyone who is anyone drank when they were in high school: Celebrities, Athletes, Senators, and even our beloved President. So the sooner we get our youth drinking the sooner they will become president.

Also 65% of all divorces are due to some kind of substance abuse, and my dad is, and many of my friends are going to become, divorce lawyers. So without alcoholics I would have no money. This is a domino effect. What is the root to all of this evil? Well the fact that if students are forbidden to work during the week and can only work weekends, they will have no time to get drunk and potentially become president or form some sort of substance abuse.

Most people are not aware that 99.7 percent of all students who only work on weekends will sometime in their life run over a cat. Doubtful? Google it. It’s 100 percent true. Recently my cat Fatto was ran over by a weekend worker.

Scientist are still collecting data to find out why students who work on the weekends are more susceptible to cat accidents but they are still very far away from finding a cure. Right now the only thing we can do is to make sure students aren’t forced to solely work on the weekends.

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