Dear Katie: Advice for the masses!

Dear Katie,

I am the ASG president at the third largest college in Washington State and I have a bit of a problem, you see I have a bone to pick with one of the editors at our schools newspaper. For anonymity lets call her Batie. She drives me insane! Batie and I never seem to ever agree on anything and when she is really mad she will pinch me! AND IT HURTS! I just want to be best friends with her but I’m not sure if she wants the same! HELP! WHAT SHOULD I DO ABOUT THE BATIE SITUATION KATIE!?!?!?!?!

Thank you, Prezin247

Dear Prezin247,

This Batie character seems like a very likeable young lady and you should be nice to her! Also bringing her coffee every once and a while never hurt. She most likely thinks you are a baby therefore she is walking all over you. As for the pinching I have a felling that those might increase over time! I think the best way to become friends with her is to shower her with compliments and gifts, better yet compliments and jewels! I have a feeling that she likes jewels! I hope this helped!

With Love, Katie

Dear Katie,

I am in love with my cat, and I myself am not a cat! I’m not sure if I should peruse this relationship and further, what do you think?

Sincerely FLUFFYLoVeR342

Dear FLUFFYLoVeR342,

NO! Do not peruse a relationship with your cat! It’s bad taste, and rather creepy! You can love your cat like you would a child, not like a husband or wife! Plus your relationship will have more speed bumps then most, like the whole language barrier issues. Communication is a huge part of a relationship. How will fluffy know what your needs are if he/she cant understand what you are saying, and last time I checked cat’s cant speak and sort of human language. Good luck and I hope you and fluffy can work things out.

With Love, Katie

Dear readers,

Hi my name is Katie Drahos and I will be your advice columnist for this quarter! I am here to answer any questions and attempt to help you with any problems you may have during your fall quarter at Bellevue College! You can litteraly ask me anything and I will answer it to the best of my ability! Lets make this school year one full of wonder and questions, and when those questions come up make sure to ask me for help! To get your question in the paper simply email me at features@thejibsheet.com. Hope to hear from you soon!

With love, Katie

Dear Katie,

I have become somewhat of a pretension hipster. Well I wouldn’t say I’m a hipster I mean just because I listen to Belle & Sebastian and dress ironically doesn’t make me a hipster but all my friends stopped hanging out at the local organic coffee house to hear me do my satirical love poems. What should I do to win my friends back I mean I don’t actually need them per say but it would be nice to have more people at my next acoustic show at Studio 7.

Yours truly,

Dear,

If you are having trouble reading this try taking off your Ran Bans. Okay… is that better? Oh and try turning down the music of the band that I have most likely never heard of. By the looks of it, your friends have it right; you are a hipster and somewhat of an annoying one. The best advice I could give you is go back to the old you! Like the you that listened to music because it was good not because it was obscure, and went to coffee shops because you liked coffee, not to sit on your Mac pretending to write the screenplay you never started but seem to bring up at every dinner party. I am pretty sure there is a genuine person behind the beard, flannel, V-Neck, and boot-cut fitted Diesel jeans. So give it time and your friends will be back and so will you!

With love , Katie

P.S: hey can you stop buying all the vinyl’s from record stores. Some of us actually listen to them and would like a chance to buy them too!

With Love, Katie

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