Are children really cheaper by the dozen?

When the first settlers arrived in Jamestown, they had the goal in mind of “colonizing” the new world. And some would say they’ve done just that…turned America into a great big festering colon over the generations. Today we might use the term “populating”, but I think political correctness has done enough damage.

Back then, large families with four or more children would shack up in their cabins and live out the days. Now, when starting a family, there is a lot more to take into account. The average cost of raising a child back then, was the cost of whatever elbow grease you could spare, as long as your offspring could kill an Indian from 100 yards away…he was good to be on his own. The average cost of raising a child these days is around $500,000 dollars. Many Americans don’t have health insurance and kids tend to find a lot of ways to hurt themselves.

But in traditional degenerate fashion, we have found a way to keep kids from running around outside. Along came video games and hours upon hours of electronic video stimulation. With that came a huge rise in the rates of ADD/ADHD and a whole generation ended up on speed because they couldn’t sit still in school. So one way or the other, if you have kids, you’re going to end up paying a doctor.

The need to breed is part of the human condition; we are programmed to feel a sense of reward and joy when we bring a child into the world. College people, who statistically are not breeding as much as blue color middle America, seem to have figured out that if they have a small family, or no family at all, they can avoid becoming a middle age burnout, retire at 60, travel the world and do all the things they wouldn’t be able to do if they had kids. Most of these “smart folk”, as I’ll call them, also seem to understand that the world is going to hell in a hand basket and don’t seem to want to raise children, especially not in a place suffering from what Hunter S. Thompson called the “downward spiral of dumbness”…yeah that’s you, AMERICA.

It’s just been me and my mom as long as I’ve been on this grand rotating rock we call earth. I remember when I was younger, wanting a brother. My mom asked me why and I told her I wanted a bigger family, but really I think I just needed someone to which I could pawn all my shortcomings and project all my flaws onto.

So perhaps having a small family promotes social responsibility, wellness and fiscal solvency, but this doesn’t mean that large families are missing these things. The common ground is accountability, children of large or small families learn very early on that no matter who your parents are or where they are from, all your actions fall back into your own lap…so act accordingly. It all comes down to what you want to do with your life. If you’re a traveler, a go getter, a rock star…any down time, is probably “me” time. If you’re content not having any “me” time, then rev your engine and colonize away.

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